11/10/08 - A Safe Haven

I broke my string of apartment mate-hatred stories this weekend, and that is due to one reason: I was not at my apartment, so was spared the agony of dealing with their weekend bullshit (which I'm sure you'll read about eventually).

Instead, I spent my weekend relaxing at my girlfriend Morgan's house, away from racist drunktards and nerds congregating in my kitchen. It was generally quite peaceful.

However, I DID end up accidentally running over/jumping a dead deer with my car, and seriously messing up my exhaust. If you want details, contact me, but I'm really not ready to relive the whole experience via blog just yet. It basically boils down to me being an idiot.

Speaking of dead deer and idiots, I WILL share with you my earliest memory of Ben.

I had just finished moving into my apartment, after returning to New York from Jacksonville, Florida. I was sitting at my computer, as I am now, when suddenly I heard the living/main room door fly open, accompanied by an obnoxiously-loud "Woo!" Enter Ben. Apparently Nate (who, at the time, was incredibly creepy/creepier than now) was in the kitchen area, because the two began a conversation about what they had done over their winter break. The first thing Ben shared was this (word-for-word):

"I was driving to the bar, when suddenly a deer ran into the side of my truck! It was stunned, so I jumped out and knifed it to death! Woo!"

Thank you for your story, future race-discriminant serial killer.

It's quite obvious that Ben hasn't evolved much in the way of intelligence or tasteful conversation topics. Fortunately, he's made it known to the apartment (probably to the entire complex, based on the fact that he shouts everything) that next semester he will be studying abroad in France. God have mercy on that country.

All I really care about is that he'll be GONE. Amazing.

Unfortunately, Nate apparently has precedence in the matter of who will be replacing Ben in our apartment, and I can't really argue against him, since he's lived here the longest and I know practically no one on campus (I transferred here last semester and have traded away socializing for finally graduating college). He's incredibly eager for his friend Dan (an insanely-loud/obnoxious and obscure nerd with bad acne) to move in. According to Nate, the school is currently unwilling to allow Dan to move into my apartment complex (thank God) since he is already leasing a nearby apartment (something to do with limited housing space). I'm not complaining.

Anyway, it's time for me to attend to other matters at hand. Enjoy.