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To briefly explain why this blog has the title it does, I'll give a quick run-down of each person:
-Myself: I'm a 22 (soon to be 23) year old psych major who loves video games, football, music, and my girlfriend, Morgan, among other things. I'm a frat guy, reformed alcoholic/drug-abuser, and have seen some pretty crazy things life has to offer. I consider myself a pretty average dude, with above-average dude tolerances/limits. But even someone with my experience and understanding can't fathom how I ended up dealing with this shit.
-Nate: My next-door-neighbor, if you will. He lived here last semester, and was about 2 million times creepier than he is this year. He's a super-nerd, who loves Batman, and still tucks his t-shirts into his belly-button-high jeans. Nate loves starting in-depth talks/debates/arguments at the drop of the hat, and always manages to do so when you're in a hurry. Topic is almost ALWAYS pointless gameshow-level knowledge (i.e. the frequency of cold weather in Northeastern cities). While pretty normal now, he used to be an incredibly creepy person. I mostly get along with him now, so I'll probably share stories about him from last year, unless he does something ultimately weird.
-Guy: Three words about this kid: Big. Fucking. Nerd. Also an opinionated little shithead, Guy constantly vies for the throne of "supreme douche" in my apartment. The craziest part is he hardly does ANYTHING! Hell, I see him probably once a week. Guy manages to emanate a permanent air of conceit, and spits out his bullshit like a machine gun. If he's not creeping around the apartment at 6am, or shouting at his girlfriend (yes, he somehow has one), then he's in the living/main room telling people they're wrong about everything from the rules of a board game to the non-existence of mental disorders (I shit you not, he thinks they don't exist!). Delights in telling people they're incorrect, and does so in a voice that sounds much like a duck call that's been marinated in annoying.
-Ben: The king of dudebro douchebags, Ben constantly acts like he just got back from "the sickest college party ever!" From rural America, Ben loves country, classic rock, and playing both on his electric guitar (badly). He's also recently gotten into insanely-cheesy dance technopop (ex: the song "Heaven" by DJ Sammy) and glaring examples of "SWEET" dudebro rock, like Shinedown and Staind. Ben loves to party and is constantly yelling movie quotes (that were popular years ago) and is constantly yelling in general. When he's not lifting with his buddies while yelling "Woo! Let's get fucking ripped!" then he's trying to feel up drunk girls at beer pong tables across campus as they try their hardest not to puke on their fake designer shoes (stories he tells his "bros" loudly and proudly in the living/main room days later). Ben should be the posterboy for the "I'm so anti-gay, because I'm hiding the fact that I'm probably really gay" club, constantly spouting off anti-homosexual statements, then turning around to wrestle with one of his friends in the middle of the living/main room while giggling. Ben is my least favourite person at the moment, including any hated major historical figure. I could go on, but I don't want to ruin what will surely be future entries (since he does the SAME SHIT almost every day).
Anyway, I'll be using this blog to chronicle (I'll try to update every day) just how idiotic/strange these people can be. Partially, I'm doing this as a way to vent, and to justify my hatred for my apartment mates. For those of you doubtful of my integrity, I HAVE tried dealing with these problems directly to absolutely no avail. If you find this unbelievable or disagreeable for some reason, you may stop reading now. If you're still interested, feel free to get ready for anger and possible entertainment.
~Brian
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